Elden Ring | REVIEW

"I was lost in it. Not lost like the Water Temple but lost like when you fall in love."

STORY - 16/20

INTRO
In true Miyazaki fashion the game begins with a scripted death (you are able to win this fight though you're definitely not intended to) to welcome you into the brutal world you're about to spend 100+ hours in. You're then transported to a new area and the game lets you explore underground while you tinker with the controls and some of the new mechanics (jumping). At the conclusion of this pseudo into dungeon you make your way to the surface and are greeted by an absolutely stunning vista of the Golden Erdtree and the first main area of the game. I remember legitimately being equal parts impressed and worried at the same time when I first walked out of that elevator. The draw distance was immense and I was instantly captivated but concerned I may never make it to work again and forget I was a husband.

CUTSCENES
FromSoftware have never been known for their graphical fidelity. Case in point: the Drake’s lightning breath in Dark Souls. Haha! Who could forget their first time facing the Drakes with their blue scales in that musky canyon, surrounded by high cliffs near the bridge and then that barely-PS1 yellow crap shoots out of their face. That's picky, I know but you have to admit that FromSoftware care more about the art than technical prowess. The end result of this? Epic shit you've only imagined while reading fantasy novels brought the screen for the first time.

WORLD BUILDING
There are plenty of NPCs to talk to with tons of dialogue and they do a great job at providing backstory and context. While I was playing the game I definitely felt a sense of immersion and my imagination was kindled. Did I care about the world I was trying to save? Not really. Did Drangleic feel more alive to me than The Lands Between? Yes. But I think a big part of this is due to just how massive and spread out Elden Ring is. As a result, they had to (or they felt they had to) do so much work to fill the game with interesting things to do. Caves, mines, catacombs and evergaols which all include a staggering amount of repetition. From enemy types, boss rooms, layouts and other commonly used assets. It all starts to feel very "gamey" and comes across as overly fabricated.

 

OVERALL STORY
Look. I’m going to be the first die hard Souls fan to admit to you that I don’t play these games for the story. It’s not the main attraction for me. It’s a bonus. I respect what Miyazaki and George created here but I’ve never been able to immerse myself in Vaati videos and item descriptions. I felt confused most of the time and also annoyed at how many people's names started with the letter M. 

GRAPHICS - 19/20

CHARACTER MODELS
I couldn't help thinking "Is this just Dark Souls 3 open world?" "Hey, aren't those the exact same rats from Dark Souls 1?!" Like I mentioned with the cutscenes, the graphics being realistic looking aren't Elden Ring's selling point. Consider that Metal Gear Solid 5 was release seven years before Elden Ring and it has superior character models by what looks like an entire console generation. Who cares though? I just want to be entertained.

ENVIRONMENTS
The world "generic" isn't really one I'd ever use to describe the visuals in a Miyazaki game. There's such a high level of finesse to everything the art department touches. So much taste. So much refinement and cultured elegance. Other games are Kraft Dinner in the microwave and Elden Ring is a 5-star Michelin chefs baked macarroni. The vistas are simply ridiculous and the more I kept exploring the game the more I'd be thrilled by a new colour palette or texture. Of the 157 hours I spent on my first playthrough at least 50 of them were just me moving the camera around while my character was stationary. I was in love with how this game looked and wanted to admire every single inch of it.

 

AUDIO - 19/20

SPECIAL FX
Spells look fantastic. Physics are dynamic and every single bush and flower is caught by the wind. It's all stunning.

THE AMBIANCE
Each area in the game has its own subtle background music that plays. It might be just a few notes from a violin but enough to give a sense of atmosphere and vibe. I really liked how this was handled.

BOSS MUSIC
The boss music is good and does what it needs to do. I wasn't hugely impressed by any specific track if I'm honest but you almost don't want that in a game like this. You need to be watching your stamina bar, son!!

SOUND DESIGN
Legitimately Oscar worthy performances which are standard from FromSoftware by now. The NPCs are truly brought to life by the actors voicing them. Spells and magic and weapons all sound incredible as well and elevate every encounter. 

GAMEPLAY 31/40

CONTROLS

Maybe this single most impressive thing Elden Ring accomplished is the introduction of Torrent, our mount. Razor sharp controls and camera are a staple of Souls games and the standard by which I judge every single other game. The fact that they were able to take this and apply it to a horse - without ever having attempted anything like it before is staggering. It's like Torrent has been there for years. It moves with the same fluidity and accuracy as your characters does and going from walking or running to mounting Torrent is seamless. They nailed it on their first try. I was immensely impressed. I've heard other people say that fighting on Torrent is clunky. Yeah. You're on horseback. But it still feels incredible responsive.

We have what is essentially the best combat and movement ever felt from Dark Souls 3 with jumping now. And it works. You can also run without depleting your stamina bar now as long as you aren't in combat. This is a welcome addition because Elden Ring is so god damn big.

MECHANICS
I was addicted to gathering berries and flowers in the opening hours of the game. I'd just run around and look for the colours. This got old though and mid way through the game I can't say I cared too much for it anymore. The huge amount of cook books I was accumulating also became an irritation. They felt like unread e-mails I was supposed to get to. You can craft all kind of useful potions and consumables with recipes from these cook books but like I will mention in a later part of the review there are simply way too many of them and this abundance of choice only lessened the experience for me. Elden Ring's content felt very bloated for the most part.

Shield users get guard counters to provide a new offensive option. Dual wielding returns with its own dedicated attack animations and spirit ashes offer a strong enhancement for anyone who doesn't want to tackle the game's many challenges alone. A stealth system now exists and can sometimes be useful, enemies including bosses can be stance broken, giving the player a chance to critically hit them and providing a reward for aggression and the use of heavy attacks. 

"YOU PLAYED THE GAME WRONG!!" I can hear you say. OK, So I didn't equip a single Ash of War my first play through. Comment below. Fuck, there was just too much to do. There are a handful of new mechanics in Elden Ring but I just kept defaulting to playing it like it was Dark Souls. 

 

PACING
Because the game is open world you can essentially go anywhere you want right from the beginning. You'll most likely find yourself way under-levelled and get one-shot but everything if you venture too far and this is usually where you turn around. 

I was a big fan of the golden marks on the map called Guidance of Grace which are basically the game telling you "go in that direction". They will lead you to the next site of grace which are Elden Ring's bonfires. Of course, you can ignore them entirely and pick berries instead but if you follow the game's lead you'll find you're just sinking hours into it and time is evaporating.

I platinum'd this game and for anyone else who's accomplished this you'll know that it requires a minimum of three playthroughs. You bet your ass I followed a guide and watched all the YouTube videos I could. But if you're someone just playing through the game casually for a second or third time you'll likely find that subsequent playthroughs are tarnished (thank you) as once you have learned the game's general layout and structure you can easily run around and quickly grab items like Golden Seeds, Sacred Tears and Smithing Stones to go Super Saiyan 3 before the first boss and without every engaging a single enemy. This is where the open world really shows its flaws.

My other big issue with the game is just its sheer size. Not only is the map too big, there’s way way too much content within it. At the end of my first playthrough I was getting ready to face off against Radagon and checking out my inventory to make sure I was optimized for the fight. I had dozens and dozens of weapons I had picked up throughout the game that I had never even equipped. Recipe books I had forgotten about and spells that I didn’t even know what to do with. This didn’t get me excited for new game plus it made me mad. 

In Zelda games, Link’s arsenal is special because each item and weapon serves a purpose. In Elden Ring my inventory was a complete and utter mess. There are 59 cookbooks in Elden Ring. This is an action adventure game, right? Elden Ring has 171 incantations and spells. That’s not impressive, it’s absurd. By comparison Dark Souls 3 has 38 miracles and 32 sorceries. That still felt like a lot. What were they trying to do here? I get that this adds replay value for certain people because you can try all of these out in new playthroughs but for me on the first playthrough, the one that matters it just felt unnecessary and foolish. What am I supposed to do with 23 different short swords?! Equip the one with the best stats and drop the other 22. Good.

UI/UE
Clean. Crafting was easy and intuitive. Upgrading weapons made a lot of sense. Shopping with merchants is satisfying. This stuff has worked for ages and I'm glad From didn't mess with it. Your items and weapons on the bottom left of the screen have been scaled down considerably since Dark Souls and leave even more room on the screen for the action.

Can I just say how much I loved the map. I poured over this thing. I spent hours and hours referencing it and tracking down map fragments to expand it. The design is beautiful and the information that's available is just what you need. You can zoom all the way out to appreciate the scale of your adventure and then go back all the way in figure out how to potentially scale a cliff you're stuck underneath.

BOSS QUALITY

*Sigh* Extreme highs and lows. This is kind of how I would sum up Elden Ring as a game as well. Elden Ring has a total of 238 possible boss fights if you include mini dungeons. Assuming that that Boss is defined as an enemy that has its health bar appear across the bottom of the screen, then there are 165 separate Boss fights. Of the 165 bosses only nine of them are unique. 9!!! On average the bosses are recycled nearly 4 times each throughout the game, dramatically diminishing their appearance and delegitimizing their existence. 

OK, so what about the actually quality of the bosses themselves? A lot of them are great and were not only visually spectacular but well balanced and the right kind of challenging. Overall though, I found them to be too hard. This is coming from someone who did over 100 attempts on Isshin the Sword Saint and the same for Amygdala in the Chalice Dungeons when I was trying to Platinum Sekiro and Bloodborne respectively. You know the difference through? I never once felt like those fights were unfair. I always felt like I saw the path to victory but it was my own mistakes and lack of dexterity with the controller that was stopping me. That's why I had no problem tying them over and over and over. I can't say the same for many of Elden Ring's bosses. There were times where I just put the controller down and thought "what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?". They just felt stupid. Like the Boss and I were in one arena but playing different games. If a boss is going to do an unavoidable combo that last 7 seconds and then jump or teleport 50 feet away right as you start to counter attack: that's not hard it’s bad game design. 

I would rather have had nothing behind the fog wall at all than to see Astel for a second time. It was simultaneously infuriating and perplexing. I read in the comments section of a YouTube video that a guy nearly uninstalled the game when he made the same discovery. I get it dude. I felt the same way. I wanted to turn to game off at the very least. It totally removes the magic of finding these amazing enemies in the first place. Nearly all the main bosses are recycled throughout the game at evergaol’s or catacombs and it is so detrimental to the games overall experience. This is a perfect example of where less would have been more.

         

ENEMY VARIETY
There are a ton of enemies to fight in Elden Ring. Small rats, dogs, mounted knights, giants, trolls, and all kinds of creatures you've never seen anywhere else before. The enemy design is on par with the art direction in the game. It's sublime and extremely original. However because of the caves, mines catacombs and evergaols you're going to see a lot of recycled content. I think that the game did a decent job though introducing new enemies throughout the world given its immensity.

GAMEPLAY VARIETY
You can fight. Explore. Craft items. And because of the new ability to jump this is a borderline platformormer. Traversing the game's architecture and landscape gave me a great deal of satisfaction and sense of freedom.

REPLAYABILITY
The first time through Elden Ring was one of my top 3 gaming experiences of all time. For the most part it was astonishing. I was lost in it. Not lost like the Water Temple but lost like when you fall in love. I hadn’t pulled that many late night gaming sessions since my early 20s. I couldn’t get enough. I wanted to see it all. Then suddenly it was over. The dream had ended. I beat the game. I woke up and had no desire to return. I was done. You only get one first impression and with Elden Ring the first impression is everything. The game is exploring the world and the discovery. At least for me it was. An open world self paced adventure like this couldn’t be any other way. 

The second time around you know which areas to skip, where the good talismans are, the boss's mechanics and all the catacombs that have recycled enemies in them, 90% of the weapons that are useless and whether or not it's worth soldiering your way through The Haligtree for the scenery or the tragic boss fight at the end of it. It's like waking up from an incredible dream and trying to fall back to sleep to finish it off. It doesn't work that way. You can't go back.

OVERALL - 86/100

GREAT

Elden Ring is the most divisive game FromSoftware has released to date. On one hand you have the innumerable 10/10 across the gaming world and the YouTubers who have literally made careers off of doing challenge runs and on the other you’ve got the endless amount of boss critique and difficulty-police videos. People seem to love it or hate it. I feel like I lean more towards the former but I will not let it get away without facing it’s missteps.

I mostly adored this game. I had the most literal jaw-dropping moments of any game I’ve ever played and in the same playthrough wanted to turn off the console because I was so fed up. It was exhausting but in the end, that first impression, that first time through the game is going to be really damn hard to top. Go play it. Get lost in it. If it’s too hard, use the internet, summon those Spirit Ashes. Play it your way. Don’t let anyone take away your fun.